


Together

by kyoselflove



Category: Dir en grey, Jrock, Miyavi (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Brother/Brother Incest, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Muteness, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, POV Alternating, Physical Abuse, Rape Aftermath, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 05:20:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4007389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyoselflove/pseuds/kyoselflove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time he woke up, his eyes would land on the photo next to his futon. Reminding him of a past life, genuine happiness leaking from the smiles from him and his family. It had only been taken a few years ago, but now everything had changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Together

**Author's Note:**

> Experimental fic for jrockyaoi forbidden love challenge.

_Your hands held my wrists above my head, my stomach pressed up against the wall, your hot heavy breath gasping in short intervals._

_Your excitement was evident._

Every time he woke up, his eyes would land on the photo next to his futon.  Reminding him of a past life, genuine happiness leaking from the smiles from him and his family.  It had only been taken a few years ago, but now everything had changed. The moonlight glared off the glass, obscuring his face underneath the glossy surface.

Often he would awake in the middle of the night.  Pain radiated from his backside, he thought it would numb after awhile, but it was always the same.

He outstretched his legs, toes touching the cool surface of the floor.  A hand grabbed him, pulling his body back into the embrace of his brother.  “Toshiya, stay.”  Toshiya didn’t move a muscle; body aching and still, he let his brother bring him closer, holding him.

_“Miyavi, please—“ You cut me off, claiming my lips, biting them, eager for a taste.  Your pent up energy; had you planned this all along?_

_To my surprise, I found no taste of booze from your mouth._

And he let the aftermath sink in, clouding his judgment, his rights.  His will.

Was this wrong or was it right?

_Making sure to keep your lips busy; silencing my own.  Your hands traveled down my body; feeling, searching.  I refused to acknowledge what they were truly doing._

Soft snores beside him let the tension slip away from his frame, trying to relax in the tight hold.  Toshiya stared ahead at the bare wall, listening to his brother’s breathing.

Tomorrow he would become his passive self, just a copy. Fitting in, moving along with society as one should.  Keeping his dark life away from curious eyes.

_Your hands tugged down my flannel pajama pants, groping for my naked flesh.  Lips moved away from mine, taking the chance, I began to scream in fright.  The end result; you bashing my head against the wall._

_No one would come anyways._

Like every morning, Toshiya routinely woke up before his brother, readying himself for the day.  Once he cleaned up, Toshiya would make breakfast for Miyavi.  None for himself, if he did, it would end up coming back up soon after.

Sitting at the quaint table, Toshiya placed the plate of food across from him, in front of the open seat.  Waiting.

_Every passing second, a piece of myself withered away. Giving you the satisfaction you wanted._

_You had me on my stomach, on your bed.  Right there behind me, you on your knees, eyeing my body.  Hands squeezing my sides._

_Our parents, I thought of them.  Happily miles and miles away._

Miyavi stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing his face and yawning into his hand.  So ordinary.

Seeing the plate, Miyavi sat down and began to eat.  Whilst having a mouth full of food, his brother spoke, “Thanks, baby.”

There had been a time where the nickname had made him scrunch up his shoulders, as if ready to be hit again.  But that was in the past, Toshiya had been trained now.

He smiled.

_The moment you entered me for the first time, I cried into the mattress.  My body forcibly rejecting your entry.  Yet you continued on to thrust either way._

_“It’s okay, baby.”  You grunted out._

_It didn’t matter._

_That night I lost my voice._

“It’s okay, baby.”  His brother’s voice brought him out of his daze.  That had been happening a lot more than he had liked.  Looking down, he saw a shattered plate and his hand had a cut, blood making its way out.  Little droplets of red hitting the tile.

Miyavi knelt down to clean up the broken porcelain.  Taking a step back, Toshiya stared.  Eyes upon one broken shard.

When had it slipped away?

_Feeling nothing but soaked sheets, I closed my eyes, willing it all to be gone when I re-opened them._

_You stayed._

_You held me._

_You never left me alone again.  Forever you would plague me._

Stopping in front of the school, Miyavi gave him a wave before leaving.  Toshiya tried to walk without a limp, but it became tiresome and he just let it slide.  Avoiding their lingering eyes.  Let it be.

Class had become a chore.  Much of the lectures never even made it to his ears as his mind wandered elsewhere.  Always going, keeping busy.

No one; pay no mind.  They let him be.

_There I sat in the tub, letting the hot water redden my skin, sink into my sore muscles.  Only to tense right up when you would rub a washcloth over my tainted flesh._

_“Toshiya…” You started._

_Still curious, I wish you would finish what you wanted to say._

_Your fingers brushed over my lips, trailing the split of crusted tissue.  You knew._

_You took everything from me._

_Silenced._

The date on the chalkboard had him spacing out.  Toshiya hadn’t even realized.  Today, four years ago.  A day that had changed everything and a night that had brought mourning.  Not only had his virginity had been taken away; their parents had died.  Leaving him to an endless fight with Miyavi, filled with pain and regret.

Toshiya’s teacher met his clouded eyes—before he looked away—Toshiya saw the concern.  Did his teacher know?

Did anyone?

_Hearing the phone ring, I knew that it wouldn’t bring good news.  Seeing your natural expression turn dark only confirmed it. In that long, agonizing moment, I felt for you.  Like I had before all this._

_I opened my mouth to express, but nothing came out._

_You shook your head and hung up the phone._

_You and I were alone, together._

At home, Toshiya waited for his brother to come home from work.  The extent of his activities were cleaning, schoolwork, and then sitting there.  Staring at the door.  Again, waiting.

Losing his grip on sanity, time seemed to go by quicker.  In no time at all, Miyavi walked through the door, a grin making its way across his brother’s face.

“Did you have a good day today, baby?” Coming closer, Miyavi placed a hand underneath his chin, grip tight, asserting him.  “Well?”

Giving a gentle smile, Toshiya nodded and placed a light kiss to his brother’s hand.

_Maybe one day I would come to enjoy these encounters.  Sometimes I found myself enjoying the warmth coming from your body._

_It made my stomach churn._

On rare nights, Miyavi would go out.  Leaving Toshiya alone in their small apartment.  At eighteen, he had no interests, no hobbies.  Every moment he breathed for his brother.  Without him, Toshiya always remained in the living room, eyes on the door.

This time, Miyavi came home drunk.

_Standing close, I could smell the alcohol on your breath.  I knew not to test you, submitting.  On my knees before you…_

_I let you take me again._

_You always were angry._

Taking a step towards his brother, Toshiya kissed him on the cheek.  Hopeful for no reprimand.  There was another aroma surrounding Miyavi; sex.

A pang to his chest rattled his heart.  Making him move back, eyes searching his brother for an explanation.  In which he didn’t receive one.

Miyavi kept his hands to himself, passing out on the couch.

_One night, I watch you sleep._

_You’re beautiful._

After a week of Miyavi sleeping on the sofa, Toshiya could feel his skin beginning to crawl.  He must have done something wrong to earn such a change in his brother’s behavior.

Deciding to skip school for once, Toshiya paced around the apartment.  The night before, Miyavi hadn’t come home.

He had found someone better.

_You thought I was asleep._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_It took every bit of strength that I had left to not turn around and tell you that I love you._


End file.
